Ian Crawford
Accident Avoidance Training for Cutlery Users – Level 2
Dates: 6th-11th: 13th-18th: and 20th-25th Aug. 2018
Time: 20:45 (21:35)
Price: £8.00 (£6.00) (£20.00F)

Solo Show. Character Comedy. Age 12+

Company Description

This is a solo character comedy show. An earlier version of this show with cutlery safety adviser Ian Crawford was nominated for a comedy award at the Buxton Fringe 2017.


Production Description

Are you fork-friendly? Do you have spoon-sense? Can you safely operate a butter knife? If you use cutlery then this deadly serious presentation by cutlery safety expert Ian Crawford is for you. This is character comedy with a gentle bite.



Ian Crawford:

Accident Avoidance Training for Cutlery Users – Level 2


'Think once, think twice, think fork, spoon and knife' is one of the many maxims presented to us by Ian Crawford in his 'Health and Safety' lecture on the pleasures and perils of cutlery.

His various approaches to the 'Safe Use of Cutlery' has his audience in stitches – yet another cutlery-associated danger. He wants us all to be 'confident but cautious' cutlery users. The trouble is, according to Ian, when we're so close to cutlery, there are so many things that can go wrong....

Are chopsticks the answer? No, it seems not, as we are then treated to lurid statistics of chopstick-related deaths in China. The descriptions and images of horrific cutlery-induced accidents grow worse and worse until Ian hints at what we already all suspect – his obsession with cutlery has macabre, hidden origins. By then end of Ian's presentation we are all uneasily aware that cutlery can be far more dangerous than we ever imagined...

Right after Ian's presentation comes one by Ray Windsor, a biscuit manufacturer who can't pronounce his 'r's. Ray's obsession with biscuits, their origins, their history, their place in society, and his crumbs of lost love - is only matched by Ian's fanaticism regarding cutlery. But Ray reminds us that death can also have biscuity connections: 'None of us know when we'll open our last packet of biscuits' he warns.

Then it all becomes just a bit clearer – Ian and Ray have much more in common than their obsessive dispositions and bad wigs: there was once a young woman - Marie; a place - Scarborough; a date - 1986, and love: true, everlasting, love....